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Past-me catches up with present-me to confirm future-me

It’s been thousands of times I faced this phrase “even if something wrong happens today, it always leads to better tomorrow“. I was almost about to call this phrase “so yesterday”, since it has seriously been used for too many times, BUT..

Sooo… Even though I stock my info on PC, 2 hard discs and Mac, there’s never enough space. When I decided to get a new movie downloaded it was just too obvious that it won’t be happening unless I erase some serious amount of stuff from my Mac. That’s the point where the wrong (too fully packed Mac) brought me to pretty amazing point of my life. Of course to delete things with closed eyes is just too cruel procedure for me, so I have to check every single thing before it goes to trash. I just opened one document and found  4 lines written down there. I had no clue what any of them meant, but the use of hyphen was a hint that there is a huge possibility it leads to music. (Since the early days I have a habit to write down the song the moment I hear it and like it. Even if it’s in the middle of the desert - i still do that! I mean it!) So I checked the last written line in that document on youtube (the line was “The Go! Team - Get it together”) BTW, the original date of the document brought be back to 2008 September 28. That time I was working as an on-air presenter of the radio show at the most popular “MTV”-type national radio station in Lithuania..

On AFROgliuck’sNoizeWave:

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If someone asked me about my present now, especially to describe it, I’d run out of words immediately. The only things I could say, would be “Transition“. This year (as in my 23 year) was pretty crazy - radical and life changing. It just suddenly dawned on me to switch to completely different career path. So in short, I’d say that somehow during this year I managed to loose my passion for the things I had been doing for ages (which always had made me feel so confident about my self and secure), to come up with an idea to leave everything behind and dive into the very beginning of everything. I flew half of the world for my potentially new career studies (till then I had no clue about diamonds or what so ever..), I quit my job (in music industry) and I decided to become an expert in diamonds & fine jewelry & generally to focus on niche luxury lifestyle industries. (…and actually, to my surprise, not so long after I came back home with my new diploma, it already got claimed publicly: photo of me and my friend from “Fashion Night 2012″ main event got published in lifestyle magazine with the title “media communication expert (my friend) and diamond grading expert (me)”) I spent big part of the year talking to people, how to understand who I am, how to rediscover my passions, how to find the inner peace, how to start hearing my intuition again, I reevaluated pretty much everything from the core in my life, I made a strong bond with couple of very important people in my life, I found oceans of spirituality in myself (who could have ever thought it’s possible with me at all?!!!), I re-believed (if that’s an existing word in English, but you get what I mean :D ) in the world, in people, in the new concept of my potential future life and most importantly in my self.

Basically, somehow in only one year I managed to bury my self to the core and to raise like a phoenix from the ashes. The phrase sounds pretty iconic but trust me the whole process wasn’t that iconic, actually there were some seriously bloody moments at some points. STILL the phoenix has risen! (I still haven’t got rid of all my fears or inside demons, whatever you prefer, and one of them is the fear to jinx the future, so I still can’t reveal what’s exactly is happening at the moment in my life, yet it makes me feel really weird and grateful at the same time, so stay tuned, haha).

_________

Back to the point. I checked the phrase on youtube and apparently it was a song. Moreover, it was a song that apparently I really liked at that point of my life (in 2008 september 28). Because of pretty huge role the music has always played in my life, in the lives of my closest friends and especially because of my strong believe the idea that music is one of the most accurate mirrors of personality, suddenly the past-me just popped out right in front of me again. It brought back all memories of that period life, of me, of my hopes and fears, struggles and joys. Only now I realize how young by all means I was then, yet I still relate to that past-me soooo much. I still like the song I liked then. I like what I see in the reflection of the mirror of that song. And the mostly I like the distance how far I’ve gone from then till now.

Yesterday I faced a strong reality check. The positive one, but it was definitely a reality check, when to be honest, for the very first time in my life I fully understood and embraced the idea of pulling my self together and getting it together in my life. Today all day long while running the errands I kept going through that fact again and again and again. For the very first time in my life everything seems so serious, responsible and real. So clear and so REAL. (Maybe after all, I wasn’t fully right saying that big part of me will never grow up..) During this year, there were many people sharing their wisdom of the life and one of the most often told ideas was to read signs & to listen to people and my self because the answers are always out there (some people said the god gives directions through signs and speaks through lips of people). I remember my self for couple of months spending at least an hour every evening sitting in the terrace of my New Delhi apartment, staring at the blank wall and constantly asking same questions over and over again in hope to finally get the answers.

Today it’s about two weeks till my 24th birthday. Some philosophies claim that people are reborn every 12 year. Personally I always had a thing for 23 - this magic number that I never knew the reason for, so there always was this silent movement in my head going on, that 23 year of my life will be the breaking point, where major changes will happen. Great intensity, signs lined up in the perfect sequence all together and this last call from the past (even though some of you may say - such a minor) coincidence (I know that in reality coincidences do not exist) gave me the final closure and confirmed that even though I’m going through some serious transitional period I’m on the right track and that’s the reason I must remain the faith in all that, no matter how unbelievable it might seem. I always wanted to write a book, but for that I always thought my life should be significant, magic and inspiring. Now I see that my life has started writing that book for me and You know what - I’m crazily excited about the upcoming chapter.

It was pretty awesome and outstanding feeling to catch up with my-past-self at least for as long as the found song was on. I’m grateful for closure and confirmation to be proud, calm, confident, faithful, positive, peaceful and most importantly determined to move on closer towards my Great Empire (as I partially in joke manner and partially in dead serious manner call the package of it all together in my future).

Cheers, My Dears, and till the next catch up already in the future!

Always Yours,

A.

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